goal setting

When my kids were small, every holiday I asked them each to make a list of things they’d like to do. It gave us a menu of options and though it didn’t forestall all complaints, I think they felt a sense of agency. Why is it so much fun to tick things off a list? I hoped they’d make it a habit, set themselves objectives, find things they wanted in life.

Looking back at these pieces of paper, it is easy to see when someone was down. At a certain point during the pandemic, there was only one entry - “Relax.” When the paper was full of ideas, we all felt hopeful for fun things in our future, even if everything wasn’t ticked off the list in the end.

It took awhile to get the hang of it though. One of the first lists we made, when my youngest was eight, had the following entries:

• Drawing

• Reading

• Imaginary games

• Forging signatures

• Vandalizing the neighbor’s wheelchair

• Learning Polish

• Betting money on Mom cracking eggs on my sister’s head

For what it’s worth, I don’t remember ticking all the boxes that holiday. Gerry did have a flat tire, but I am sure it was just a coincidence.

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